名师教你如何写出满分托福作文

　托福写作满分并非一个遥不可及的梦想，但也绝非一蹴而就。要获得托福写作的满分，必须在“量”和“质”这两方面下功夫。写作原本是我的弱项，很久以前参加雅思考试的时候，我虽然总成绩很高，但却被写作拖了后腿。因此在备考托福的时候我格外谨慎，制定了非常周密的计划，按质按量地完成了这些计划之后果然取得了不错的成绩。接下来新东方黄文君老师和同学们分享一下写作思路和训练方法。

　　在托福写作中，中国学生的主要问题就是思路枯竭，逻辑混乱，缺乏例子与细节，句型单一，词语使用不恰当等。其实种种问题归根到底，就是练习的不够，以及练习的方法不恰当。我在备考的第一个月，每天会花5个小时的时间去写三篇独立作文，在构思每一篇作文的过程中，我都会先去网上搜索一些相关的理由和例证，列出提纲，将文章的骨架搭建起来，再通过谷歌去查找描述这些理由和例证的地道英语表达方法，丰富文章的血肉。如果在有条件的情况下，还可以请英语好的朋友或者外国友人进行修改。这样的过程一开始会非常痛苦，但一旦坚持下去，一两个月内必然可以取得成效，并且可以拉动英语水平的整体提升。

　　下面我们拿一道教育类的题目来试手，这道题是：

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement？ Teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform.

　　Statement类型分析：这道题属于claim类型，即题干提出一种观点或者论断，来让考生进行判断。一般来说，这种斩钉截铁的论断，通常都是站不住脚的，要么就是错误的，要么就是片面的，所以这道题我们从反对的角度来写会比较有利。

　　确定了基本方向之后，我们可以继续分析。首先，以学生的表现来决定老师的薪酬到底有什么不合理的地方？其次，如果不以绩效工资的办法来提高教学质量，还有什么提高教学质量的方法？这样一下子，思路就打开了，我们会发现可以援引的资料和例证一下子就增加了。

　　接下来进一步分析，仅以学生的表现来决定老师的薪酬，这种做法为什么不正确，又会导致什么不好的后果？在这里，“performance”这个词非常模糊，我们需要把“表现”进一步地具体化，根据上下文和常识推知，这个表现应当指的是学业成绩等，这道题的大背景事实就是国际教育界关于“教师绩效工资是否能改善学生成绩”的争论。我们通过搜索双方的观点，非常容易就可以发现，反对绩效工资的一派认为“绩效”的评价标准很难做到公平、客观，因为学生的表现很难得到客观的评估，而强调单个教师的绩效会减少教师之间的合作，或者使得教学只关注评价标准所认同的部分，而忽略了教学的其他内涵。

　　由此我们可以列出如下表达：

　　第一步来看看怎么对题干更好地进行转述：

　　Tying teachers' wages to students' performance；

　　pay-for-performanceprogramme；

　　allow teachers to receive raises or bonuses based on performance evaluations

　　再来列出缺点：

　　1.the carrot of higher pay does not lead to better results，measures of student performance were still inadequate，that connections to teacher performance were hard to establish；（本质：标准不公平，不客观）

　　可以举个例子： standard measures of student learning were not applicable to more than half of the teachers-including gym，art， and music teachers

　　2.lead to an increase in standardized testing，decrease performance in tasks that require creativity and innovation：（结果：导致标准化考试剧增，而减少对创造性的要求）

　　第二部分：如果学生的成绩不作为决定教师绩效的唯一指标，那么还有什么其它的更好的办法吗？我们可以列出如下手段：

　　1.更好的工作环境（硬件）：work in supportive environments， where they have scope for creativity as well as rigor；

　　在这里可以做一些列举：Laboratories，libraries，multi-media equipment

　　2.更好的同事关系，资源共享（软件）：colleagues collaborate， rather than compete，with one another；win-win outcome instead of zero-sum games

　　同样可以举例：the mutual assistance of old teachers and new teachers，share channels for instructional materials

　　有了这样的思路，我们就可以开始写作文了：

　　开头有至少三种写法：

　　1.下定义的方法：The idea of “pay for performance，” which involves deciding teacher pay or providing bonuses based on student test scores， is one of the latest educational fads to sweep schools across the world.In my opinion， tying teachers' wages to students' performance can cause many problems and there might be better alternatives for improving instructional quality.

　　2.介绍背景的方法：A new round of interest in performance pay has been growing for the past decade， as more schools have introduced mandates related to the push for ever-higher standards. In my opinion， tying teachers' wages to students' performance can cause many problems and there might be better alternatives for improving instructional quality.

　　3.反问的方法：Should teachers be paid based on student performance？ Will this approach improve instructional quality？ Will students really benefit from the pay-for-performance programme？ In my opinion， tying teachers' wages to students' performance can cause many problems and there might be better alternatives for improving instructional quality.

　　接下来可以写第一段：

　　（找到claim的关键要害，然后一针见血地表明观点）Although today's performance pay plans take many forms， the most commonly proposed version， in which teachers are rewarded on the basis of their students' standardized test scores， flows from flawed logic and several troublesome assumptions.（第一个缺陷）The first assumption is that the carrot of higher pay can lead to better results， but this is not the case. （说理由）Additional pay will not necessarily motivate teachers to work harder， most teachers care about their students and want them to succeed. Why else enter the profession？ But although presenting information may be simple， successful teaching is more complex. In this regard，measures of student performance were still inadequate， and itsconnections to teacher performance were hard to establish.（举例子）For example， standard measures of student learning were not applicable to more than half of the teachers-including gym， art， and music teachers.（第二个缺陷）What's more， implementing test-based evaluation systems brings potentially damaging consequences， leading to an increase in standardized testing while decreasing performance in tasks that require creativity and innovation.（说理由）By tying teacher pay to student test performance， the anxiety that currently surrounds test-taking will be intensified， so as the pressure for teachers to focus teaching on the narrow set of skills and content that these tests cover.

　　接下来顺利过渡到第二段：

　　(主题句一定要简洁，有力)However， there are better ways to improve teacher effectiveness.（第一种方法）The first approach is to create an enabling instead of disabling environment for instruction， that is to say， the school facilities should be greatly improved. Only by working in supportive environments， can teachers have scope for creativity as well as rigor. The school facility is much more than a passive container of the educational process： it is， rather， an integral component of the conditions of learning. （列举图书馆，实验室，多媒体的例子）For instance， a good librarywill not only provide a quite environment for students to concentrate on their studies， but also allow them to have access to abundant academic resources， which are all essential to improving students' performance； a well-equipped laboratory also plays a significant role in enhancing teacher effectiveness， for students will truly understand some scientific principles if they have chances to apply them. The same goes for multi-media equipment and exercising facilities. (第二种方法) The second approach is tocreate better information-sharing channels and provide strong mentors for new teachers.(从反面推理)If performance pay pits teachers against one another， more teachers may feel reluctant to share their experience and expertise with others， thus creating an environment characterized by blind competition， making more teachers to look for other lines of work. （从正面引导）To prevent this potential damaging consequence from taking place， colleagues should collaborate， rather than compete， with one another. Whileseasoned teachers can provide guidance for new teachers to improve their pedagogics， the newbies is also able to bring new insights and diversified materials into the conventional teaching practice， by avoiding a zero-sum game， we're more likely to reap a win-win outcome.

　　最后结尾做一个总结，和开头相呼应：

　　(阐释教学本质)Teaching and learning are complex， collective processes which are corroded rather than enabled by the demands for endless ranking and competition.（再次表明自己的立场）Sothe measures for setting teachers'salaries on their students' performance are unfair for neither the teachers nor students.